Story copied from http://www.lagosconvo.com
THE BEAUTIFUL USHER
This was my third attempt at getting the attention of this beautiful usher; I would have said fourth attempt but I didn’t really make any attempt at getting her attention on the first day I set my eyes on her. I basically spent the first day admiring this beautiful young lady. She met all the physical attributes I have always admired in ladies and would want my woman to have. The height is right, the body shape is one in town, wonderfully and fearfully made, her complexion is simply cherry on the cake, her, ermm, chest region must have been the type that was painstakingly described in Songs of Solomon. If you have read that passage of the bible, you will have a clearer picture of what I am talking about. Everything on her was screaming very loud at me and I responded ”this is my beloved woman, I shall come after you after service. Look at you, I know what you are thinking already, ”is that what I go to church to do?” No, that is not what I normally do in services but since I told myself it’s time to settle down, my antenna is super sensitive and alive and what other better place to get a lady other than in a church. That’s me o. I don’t know about others.
I was still making a mental calculation of how I was going to approach her when she walked down to our side of the aisle. Apparently, she had two aisles to serve and control, ours was one of them. Before long, she started distributing some flyers for a special event coming up the following Sunday. I was sitting at the beginning of our row, meaning that all things being equal, she was most likely going to come to me with some of the flyers so I could extend to other members sitting on the same row with me. I was right, she approached me, smiled and handed me a bunch of flyers. It was too sudden for me, I hadn’t really made up my mind exactly what to say to her when she arrived. I collected the flyers from her and did the needful. She walked away from me and moved further up. This usher really looked good. My eyes were almost fixated at her as she walked up. ”I will not let this slip through my fingers,” I assured myself. After all, we have been accused in the past by the pastor of not looking very well when we come to church. He was addressing a recent trend in the church where most guys go out to marry ladies from other churches. Here I was, a bachelor, ready to start something serious with any lady that meets some of the qualities I was looking for. I hadn’t spoken nor interacted with her but in terms of the physical qualities, she looked like the path and I really wanted to open up a conversation. However, the challenge was, how do I really get the attention of this busy usher-lady in a crowded congregation? Luckily for me, the pastor hadn’t started the day’s sermon, there were other regular church activities going on.
You won’t believe what I did next, I bowed my head and said a quick prayer. ”God please send this lady down to this side and please give the courage to make move and the right word to say to her.” I wasn’t sure of what I did, I don’t know if I should have called that a prayer or my wish sounding very loud in church. However, it wasn’t longer, the lady turned and started walking down towards us. Typical of their duty, she was scanning the the rows as she walked down as if she was looking for something untoward or for someone who would ask for her help. Well, I was in need of her help but not the regular kind of help she had been trained to offer to the congregation. As she got closer, I stuck out my little finger; the finger wasn’t so high but it was high enough to be seen or get her attention. She acknowledged she had seen my finger with a nod and then increased her pace towards me. ”What are you doing, this man?” My mind quipped. There was no time to answer my mind or to start contemplating what I was doing, the deed had been done and the lady was already on flight towards me. Before she got to my seat, I quickly brought out my card and scribbled a few words at the back of the card. I was church, what other better place to practice ”seek and you shall find”? ”Hi lovely lady, can I see you briefly immediately after service?” That was what I scribbled at the back of the card. Again, luckily for me, the flyers were in excess and the remainder had been returned to me, so I was supposed to hand them over to the usher. I quickly placed my card on top of the flyers before she got to my seat. As she bent to collect the flyers from me, I requested to whisper something to her. She bent her ears towards me, ”I have scribbled something at the back of my card. Thank you.” She did not utter a word, she collected the flyers and the card from me and walked away.
Some minutes later when the congregation was dancing to the medley of praises from the lead singer, the usher walked back and handed the card I had given her earlier on to me with a smile. I couldn’t tell what the smile was for. I also couldn’t read what she had scribbled immediately, there was a woman on our row who I think knew what was going already. I looked at her direction only for me to catch her looking at me. I waited until praise time was over to look at the card.
”Walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh,” she had replied. What a response! I wasn’t walking in the flesh. These church people know how to use bible passages to hit one hard sha. When the service ended, the usher had disappeared from her position. I went home not totally disappointed, at least I had broken inertia.